yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
