This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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