Have you finally orgasmed yet?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
