fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
