butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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