we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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