I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
