what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
