just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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