So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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