I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize