wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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