Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
