I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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