I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
