Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
