I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
