i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
