it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
