That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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