She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
