I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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