So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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