This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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