You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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