i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
