Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Randomize
