Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
