I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just want nice things and good sex
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
