Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
