I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize