addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
