I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize