i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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