I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
