you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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