I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
