he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
