I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
