It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i think i just lost a toe
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
