I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
