miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
