Me too!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
