I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
are you so shy because you have an std?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
then he tried to convert me to islam
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
