i don't like sucking hair
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
