May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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