only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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