My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
