Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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