You're so nebulous sometimes
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
