My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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