I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
