i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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