Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
