There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
