YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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