you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
